Happy Birthday Jon!!!

Happy Birthday Jon!! We love you!

Counting My Blessings

I attended my first baby funeral today...a co-worker of mine delivered 3 months early (in Dec) and her beautiful son lived to be 5 weeks old. I have to be honest, I don't know this woman well at all, but wanted to pay my respects to her and her grieving family. I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now.

There was a little girl just old enough to get help walking from her big brother, she looked just like Aliya when she was about 10 months old, it was amazing, their resemblance. As I sat in the pew just watching the family hug and cry I counted my blessings that my kids are healthy.

I didn't plan on staying for the service, but as soon as I was handed a program with his picture on the front, I knew I couldn't leave right away. He was so little, born just over 1 lb. I cried as a family friend sang "Because He Lives" and as the preacher reminded us to not be sorry for the family's loss, as this baby is not lost, he is just on a long vacation with Jesus. I cried as two Aunts stood up and read a poem. I cried when I heard that C (the mom) was told by doctors that she was unable to conceive a child, but God had better plans for her and after finally getting pregnant she had to say good-bye to him. I cried as I read the letter she wrote her son, thanking him for teaching her how to love so deeply and for fighting for his little life as long as he could.

And as I read the rest of the program several things stood out in my mind. Now usually I don't read into coincidences, but this is what I read and put together in my head. This little guy passed away on January 21st (the same day Aliya became my daughter), he was 5 weeks old when he went to be with the Lord (Aliya was 5 weeks old when she came home to us) and his name, Johnathon also means "God's Gift" (same as Aliya). As I read these words and lifted my head my eyes kept drifting from that little girl that looked just like Aliya to the tiny coffin on display in the front of the room and my heart just cried out to God thanking him for my precious little angel.

So tonight I pray for this family who only knew their miracle for 5 weeks, and I pray for my two kids sleeping in their beds tonight...thankful that my miracles are still alive and healthy.

Two Years Ago Today...

My dreams came true!

Really?

I have no idea what to title this post and honestly I'm not sure how to put my feelings into words right now...

The other day Aliya and I went to Target (like we do almost every week) and we went through the same line we always go through and the same woman checked us out, I'm serous, I think this woman has been our cashier all but maybe 5 times we've gone in since Aliya came home almost 2 years ago. She is a very sweet woman who always comments on how cute Aliya is and how much she's grown, ect... I never even thought that this woman has no idea that I am Aliya's mother... okay, so here's what happened. Aliya and I went through her line and Aliya wanted to "help" so the cashier gave Aliya the receipt and told her, "go take the receipt to...(pause, look at me, then back at Aliya)her". Who the heck is her? I didn't say anything because I wanted to see this play out and she said it again, "sweetie, take the receipt to her". Aliya looked at this woman like she had no idea who "her" was. I then said, "Aliya, bring the receipt to mommy please", and it was like this light bulb turned on over this woman's head, "yes sweetie, give the receipt to your mommy" is all she said and flashed me a half smile. I couldn't tell if the woman was embarrassed or what, but seriously? I mean I know she must see hundreds of people a day come through this store, but come on lady it's not like we blend in easily or anything.

I'm not upset with her, or the situation, it is what it is...but I have to be honest, it's been a REALLY long time since I've felt like it's not obvious that I am Aliya's mother. I mean I still get the occasional, "oh you took the easy way out and adopted" comment (not so much people), or "where is she from?" but for some reason this conversation between this cashier and my daughter pulled on my heart strings just a bit. It does hurt my heart a little that people will always know at first glance that we are a different sort of family, again, not that that is a bad thing and I love talking about our adoption, but... I don't know, I pray I'm not coming across as ungrateful for the beautiful gift we've been given in Aliya, because that is not the case. I know she is the child God intended to call me mommy...I knew what we were getting into when we agreed to a transratial adoption and I don't regret our decision for a second, I guess I look at our daughter as if she's part of me and everyone else should just feel that too. I don't exactly know how to put the rest of my feelings into words right now, so I will stop.

I have always prided myself on speaking my mind in love and I hope my thoughts and feelings don't come across as snobbish or cruel, because that is not my heart...I just needed to get my thoughts on this matter out. Thanks for listening.

Diapers and panties...

Lately Aliya has been obsessed with putting diapers on her babies and stuffed animals and putting panties on herself (over her clothes). It really is cute to watch because 9 times out of 10 she has her panties on upsidedown, or sideways, and heaven forbid mommy gets to help her put them on correctly. Now, when I say panties, I mean mine, or her swimmy diaper, or her diaper cover that matches her dresses not "big girl" panties yet...but I have a feeling those aren't too far in our future.

Her new thing is stripping down (no, that's not the new part) to her socks and running to the bathroom to get "toilet" (toilet paper) then coming into her room and sitting on her little potty for about 10 seconds then spending the next minute wiping herself and throwing it in the potty. She then proceeds to clap for herself and ask for a sticker on her hand. The whole process is amusing!

Yesterday, while I was at work, Jon found Aliya downstairs standing next to a diaper on the floor...no big deal right? Well, he also smelled something...you guessed it! She had pooped, taken her diaper off and then pulled her pants back up. Just standing there smiling! He said it was gross, but I just laughed and laughed!! I was glad I didn't have to clean it up, but I wish I could have witnessed it!

She is also really good about telling us when she's peeing and pooping, and wants to be changed right away...

Okay, this post has now taken me 3 days to write...imagine that. Anyway, Aliya and I went to Target this morning and we picked up preemie diapers for her babies and stuffed animals and...drum roll please...PANTIES! She is so excited, we'll see how they go, they are out of package but not washed yet...I'll keep you posted!

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year blog world!!!

Our Big Day

As promised, here are pictures of our big day yesterday! We met in Lima at the Golden Corral (yummy)!!

Jon and Aliya waiting in the car for everyone to arrive!


Opening her gift from Jocelyn and Gladys


D got her the most adorable doll, first things first, it needed it's diaper changed!


Showing Gladys her new baby


Aliya and her half brother, can't tell they're related can you!!!


D was smiling while Aliya kept tapping him saying, "boy" it was really funny


Aliya and her tummy mommy, Miss Jocelyn


Saying our good byes


Once last group shot (I should have asked someone to take it so Jon could have jumped in, oh well, there's always next time!


We had the most amazing time. I was like we've known Jocelyn for years! We didn't talk about meeting up again, but I'm sure we will see them again! I would love to take Jocelyn out for a soda/coffee some time, just the two of us to talk and really get to know each other. We are only 2 years apart in age...and I think we could be good friends.

We had so many people praying for us yesterday and we could feel God's presents at our table. It was the most relaxed dinner (until Aliya decided it was time to go) and I didn't want the night to end. We owe this woman so much for giving her daughter life and giving us her... What courage and strength...what love.