Moving on...

Still struggling here. I started counseling just over a month ago to help me deal with our loss. It seems to be helping. Most days I'm fine, then others I still can barely function. But, those days are fewer, thankfully.

I found out a few weeks ago that my best friend (who unexpectled announced she was pregnant back in March) told me she added me to the list of people to be in the hospital room when she gave birth. I was honored and terrified at the same time. Not wanting to make her special day about me, I wondered if I could handle it. But, I always told her I would be there for her, and how exciting to experience this since we were not there for our daughter's birth.

As the days quickly approached towards her due date I did a lot of praying. Yesterday was the big day. Everything that could go wrong at work that morning (for me) did and it was looking like I wasn't going to make it to the hospital. Was this God's way of guarding my heart? Was I not suposed to be there? But thankfully it all worked out and I was on my way to see her, an hour before I was even orginally suposed to leave town.

I cried off an on the entire 1 hour and 50 minute trip. I grieved the loss of our baby and I cried tears of joy for what I was about to witness. Bitter sweet tears.

I arrived at the hospital at 4pm and was greated by friends and family. Not much had happend since she had been admitted at 8am that morning. So we waited...and waited...and waited... I was introduced to several of the baby's father's family members and they embrassed me like I had known them all their lives. It made the 10 hours I spent with them that night so much easier.

Of course all the ladies started sharing their birth stories, how long they were in labor, how many pushes it took, the pain and joy. I just sat there. I was unable to contribute to the conversation. Our miscarage was like an elephant in the room, they all knew, no one asked. In fact, no one made eye contact with me while they were sharing their stories. As tears welled in my eyes my friend's mom asked me to join her in getting something to drink. The instant we were behind closed doors the tears flooded and she held me. I so did not want this to be about me!!! And the grandma-to-be of all people didn't need me crying. She reminded me that I had a beautiful daughter at home. Honestly, this did not make me feel better. I know we have a beautiful daughter, whom I love more than life itself. But that does not change the fact that I am still greiving.

After I collected myself and joined the others we continued to wait. I took my turns going back to sit with my friend. I truely love my friend, she has been my sister sinse our first day of college when we met, but it was still so hard. She asked how I was and I chose the "oh, tired by good" reply. (my usual answer these days) I couldn't tell her that while I was so excited for her I was equally dying inside.

Into the wee hours of the morning we continued to wait. By 1:30a I had had so much coffee I didn't know if I was coming or going. I was mesmerized by the monitors and the friendly competition with the women down the hall. (Have you seen the episode of Friends when Rachel goes into the labor, same thing) I was singing into my friend's belling begging the baby to come out. It was getting late and I needed to head for home. I wanted to make sure I was awake enough to make the drive home. So at 2:00a I packed up my things, said my good-byes and headed for home.

Baby H arrived at 6:10am weighing in at 8# 4oz, 22" long and a full head of hair. I took a half day at work and headed back to the hospital. Not sure how I would handle this I got my crying out of the way before I got out of my van in the parking lot. All I can say is SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. Oh my gosh. And my friend, who just 7 months ago found out her life was going change forever looked so natural holding her daughter. So content. So at peace. I held H for as long as I could and soaked up her smell, her snuggles and the inocence. I stayed for just over an hour or so and headed home. No tears this time, just a smile.

Sitting here typing this I have tears in my eyes. Tears of joy, tears of pain and tears of the future. I am so ready not to cry. So ready to just feel normal again. I know that day is coming, I just wish I would hurry up and get here.

8 years already?

8 years ago today I married my best friend!! Happy Anniversary Jon, I love you more today than ever!

(wish I could post a picture, gotta love safe mode)

Still Struggling

I really thought I'd be further along in my healing by now, but in all honesty, I'm not. Most days I'm fine, but others I just cry and cry. My best friend is pregnant, two of my sisters-in-law are pregnant and we just found out two weeks that our dear friend's (just turned) 18 year old daughter is pregnant. That announcement was the icing on the cake for me I think.

Like a ton of bricks dropped on my heart I lost it. Right in the middle of bible study I broke down. I'm not angry at God, or even this young lady, I truly think I'm jealous. And I hate that about myself. I've never been the jealous type really, but right now I am. Sometimes the thought consume me (healthy, I know right).

I hope I don't sound ungrateful for the two beautiful children God has blessed me with, because I love them more than life itself, I really do...but there is a hole in my heart that only God can fill.

I finally took the ultra sound pictures off of the refrigerator and put them in my bible. (in Ephesians) Where they will stay until an unknown time.

I would have been 24 weeks today. I truly thought this dark feeling would have passed by now...

If you pray, I'm asking for it right now please. I need to get past this so I can function and be the wife and mother my husband and children need.

It's been awhile

So our computer is still down, but it's in "safe mode" so we can at least get on the internet. So much has happened in the past few months...not sure if I should pick up where I left off last, or just start at today.

Our world has completely been turned upside-down. After years of being told by our doctors that conceiving a child together would been near impossible on 5/16/11 we found out I was pregnant. Totally by chance I took a test, not EVER thinking I was pregnant (in fact I even told Jon it was broken and he needed to buy another one)The following week I went to the doctor and it was confirmed we were 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Jon's mom was in in town that week so we were able to tell her in person! The baby's heart rate was on the low end, but our doctor reassured us everything was fine. She ordered another ultra sound the following week just to make sure and only having one kidney raised a bit of concern to the doctor so she referred me back to my nephologist.. That was the longest week of my life. I couldn't believe God would bless us with a baby just for something to be wrong. EVERYONE we knew (at least, those we'd told already) were praying for us. I was so scared, every twinge, every pain I was convinced something was wrong. But on Friday June 8th we got to see the baby again, heart beating strong and hard. I finally exhaled.

We started telling everyone we knew about the baby, looking back now it was too early, but after years of being on the receiving end of the "guess what, we're pregnant (again)" calls, it felt SO good to be the one making the big announcement. And frankly the more people praying for us the better!

On Wednesday June 15th, one month after our positive test, I started bleeding. FREAKING OUT I called my doctor and spoke with the nurse. She assured me everything was fine, but in my heart I knew different. The bleeding continued and I called the nurse again, every day. And every day she told me the same thing, I was fine. When I called Friday I requested an ultrasound the following week, just to make sure. She said she would make a note in my file. By Saturday I paged the doctor, she too tried to reassure me everything was okay. I did not like what I was hearing so we packed up and heading to the ER. After a full round of tests it was confirmed that we had lost the baby and I had a UTI. Tired and defeated we headed home.

Telling the kids was the hardest part, they both had been so excited for the baby. I continued to pray that God would show me His plan for all of this and the following is what I came up with (true or not, this is what got me through this):

God knew the deep down desire of my heart to be pregnant. (even after years of saying out loud that I was fine, I know there was a tiny little place in the very back of my heart that longed for it) So God, being the amazing father that he is, gave me my hearts desire. He allowed me to see our baby's heart twice, he allowed me to have the symptoms of pregnancy, everything I had ever asked for. BUT my wanting and HIS knowing are two totally different things. So after giving me what I wanted, HE knew what I needed so he took his gift back and is holding her until we can. Maybe my remaining kidney isn't strong enough.

(I have since left the doctor I was seeing, that in itself was DRAMA and horrible. I will not post about that, because I am still SO angry about everything) and I have seen my Nephologist. I am at the top end of stage two kidney failure. Still very healthy, with plenty of functioning left and could still safely carry a child, but just not at this time. When? Not sure...could be next month, could be next year, could be never.

I am still grieving. I still haven't taken the ultrasound pictures off the refrigerator yet. I still cry every once in awhile. I still question God at times. BUT one thing I don't do is worry. I am 100% confident that I will meet my little one some day in heaven. And you know what, if I never get pregnant again I can now say I am 100% okay with that. I got to experience pregnancy, if only for a month and a half, what more could I ask for? I got to see our little one's heart beating twice! So as I sit and look at the two beautiful kids God did give me, neither of them that came from my belly, but from my heart I can only thank God that I am the most blessed mommy in the world and one day will finally get to meet the one that did grown inside of me!

crash

Our computer has offically died. We will be saving up for a new one soon, hopefully. I miss my blog world. So until we are back up and running I will miss all your updates!

Joel got "Bat-a-tized"

(as said by Aliya)
Joel got baptized last night!! What a great way to spend Good Friday! I took the day off of work yesterday to clean the house and prepare for our company. My folks came into town and took Joel to the Creation Museum. . They had a wonderful time!!

We grilled out (well, Jon grilled...in the pouring rain...) and had the family over before we headed over to the church. Joel didn't want a cake, he asked for a cookie cake, so I tried my best!!!

There were 30 people signed up to be baptized last night and over 120 ended up taking the plunge! IT WAS AWESOME! Our small group came and gathered around the hot tub to celebrate with Joel. I honestly think he was more excited that his church family was there than he was with is family family. His mom and step-dad (grandma, grandpa and Aunt) came too. It was nice. We didn't sit with them, but I did go up and sit next to Tracy during the baptism part of the service. It was such a blessing to have them with us (Joel) for this HUGE step in his faith.

After service we spent time with our small group, our extended family. The kids ran around and the adults sat and talked. Everyone went around the room and said what their favorite part of the service was and almost all of them said Joel's baptism. They truly love him and that makes my heart smile.

My mom took a million pictures and I have a video of Joel's baptism (I just have to figure out how to get it off my blackberry). So, as soon as mom sends me the pictures I will post them!!

Got Me Thinking

We attended another funeral this morning, Jon's Uncle on his dad's side. It was a military funeral with the 21 gun solute and Taps. I cried and cried, even though I'd only met the man a few times.

I always do this, during every funeral I attend my mind starts to drift and I begin planning my funeral. What songs I want, what flowers, open or closed casket, you know the normal funeral stuff. And I always end up wondering the same thing, will people come to my funeral when I die? Have I made an impact in this world to anyone besides my husband and kids? Please don't think I'm selfish or self centered, that is not where I'm going with this. I just wonder.

So as we gathered on this freezing cold morning to say good-bye to Uncle Dave I am thankful he had family and friends gathered around his wife and kids...there were not many in attendance, but the ones that were there loved this man more than life its self. And someday, I pray that even if only six people come to my funeral it will be the most amazing celebration of life those six people have ever been to.

Look What We Did!!!

Last week was a very busy week. Besides work, it was my birthday. I am officially "in" my thirties now, I'm 31. Age doesn't bother me, I don't get stressed out over it. I don't understand why people freak out about getting older, it's a part of life and with age comes wisdom (apparently I still have a lot of aging to do, because I'm still not very wise! But I'm hoping some day I will be!)

My birthday week came to an end on Friday evening when Jon and myself (along with our small group from church and my mom and step dad) attended "Love Worth Fighting For" with Kirk Cameron, a marriage seminar. HERE It was awesome!

Saturday evening was spent with my dad, step-mom, younger sister, younger brother and his fiance at the Chinese buffet! We ate way too much and enjoyed every minute of it. My step-mom has started making jewelry and WOW, what beautiful stuff! As my birthday gift she let me pick out a few items from her collection. I will have to take a picture of the necklace and earrings I picked out! I can't wait to wear them and show off her talent. So as we were looking at her earrings Aliya announces to the group that she wants some too. I tried to explain to her that she doesn't have her ears pierced so she can't wear any of grandma Kris' earrings. She seemed satisfied with my answer and went about eating her dinner.

After dinner we were sitting around the table chatting and again Aliya announces that she wants earrings and that she wants to get her ears pierced, right now, tonight, on the way home. I told her to ask her father and winked at her. She slowly made her way over to where he was sitting and asked him if she could get her ears pierced. He told her to wait until she was four. Yeah right! Like that answer was going to fly with her. She had an agenda on her mind and she was set that it was going to happen that night. So she moved on to the next person, my little sister, Sheri. Now sweet kind Aunt Sheri, could she say no to that adorable little face??? Nope! We decided that we would just stop by the mall on the way home (just us girls) to price out ear piercing. I told Aliya we were just going to look. She told me "I'm ready mommy, I can do it". We went on to talk about how much it would hurt, like way worse than a shot. Confident that would scare her I thought she would drop the subject...

Oh no! Boy was I wrong. We pulled into the mall (an outdoor mall) and she squealed with excitement. My sister, Sheri, was caravaning behind me as we looked for parking spots near the store. Still trying to convince Miss Aliya it was going to hurt A LOT and maybe we should just look and ask questions tonight we found our spot. (Oh, I forgot to mention that little miss hadn't had a nap all day, so her emotions were intensified and in full swing this evening) As we entered the store her eyes lit up, much like mine do when I enter Starbucks. All the pretty jewelry was hers for the taking, but the only thing that she had her eyes on were the the earrings.

We went over and I spoke with the assistant manager about the cost and the procedure of getting a little one's ears pierced. After filling out a form and Aliya picking the starter set she wanted there was no turning back. She climbed up on the chair and helped herself to a sucker. You would have thought the child was 6 years old the way she sat there. Still, quiet and excited! One more time I asked her if she was sure and if she realized it was going to hurt, she said she was ready.

Below is how the rest of the event took place


Getting the purple dots on her ears to show where the earrings were going to go

Sitting still like a statue (the assistant manager's words, I don't think Aliya has a clue what a statue is, but she sat still like one)

Don't mind if I do, thanks! (as she helps herself to a sucker)At this point she still has no clue about how bad this is about to hurt. I am on my knees in front of her sitting on the floor. My palms are sweating and this is when I'm informed that this part is worse for the mom's, not the child.

OOOUUUCCCHHH!!!! She cried for about 45 seconds and that was it!

And we're back to the sucker! (which spent a few seconds in my hair while I was consoling her after the initial pain/shock)

"Cheese" All done!

Thanks Aunt Sheri for the belated birthday gift!! Sheri had said she would go in for part of the cost of the earrings (they aren't cheap!), but when we got up to pay she had already taken care of the bill! What an awesome gift!!

Once the initial shock of the whole ordeal set in I realized that Jon said Aliya needed to wait until she was four to do this. HOLY CRAP! What did I just do!?!? What was he going to say?!?! It's not like I could turn back the hands of time and take the earrings out! I knew he couldn't be upset with Aliya, but would he be upset with me for doing it anyway?! I got so caught up in the moment...how bad could it be, right? I shouldn't have been worried a bit, he LOVES them!! He told me later that he knew she'd come home with pierced ears and he wasn't upset in the least!!! (and exhale)

Aliya is doing a great job of leaving them alone and letting me clean and "twist them" several times a day! I'm so proud of her!!!

Maybe next trip

I heard back from Aliya's birthmom last night. She already has plans today so we won't be meeting up with her. Thankfully I didn't say anything to Aliya, so she's not disapointed this time!

Maybe next trip!

Hopefully

We might be meeting up with Aliya's birthmom for a visit this weekend!! I spoke with her on the phone yesterday for the first time since her mother's funeral. It was a quick chat (she was on break at work and I was walking into work), but it was good. Every time Aliya sits on my lap here at the computer she sees pictures of our one and only visit (or of her on facebook) and get so excited and says, "Hey, there's my birthmom!!!!" I'm hoping we can make connections this weekend!

Hopefully more to come...

First week of "peeschool"

(**sorry for the quality of the pictures, I took them on my cell phone**)

So Monday was the big day, Aliya's first day of preschool. We'd talked up the big day for weeks now and the morning was finally here! She was beyond excited. Monday also happened to be Valentine's Day, so we had her valentine's all packed and ready for her new friends (just in case they had a party, we didn't want her to come empty handed). She wore a cute valentine's shirt and pink hoody. I did her hair in piggy-back braids with pastel colored hairbands. She was ready!

Her first day was AMAZING! No crying, no fits, she loved every minute of it!! The teacher even commented on how well she did, caught on and followed directions. I beamed as we walked out to the van on that first day. We came home and went through all her valentines, me desperately trying to remember everyone's name, her desperately trying to shove as much candy in her mouth as she could before I caught on! She talked about school all night long and went to bed peacefully that night!! PRAISE GOD!

Day two was not as smooth. She cried when I dropped her off, a lot. She refused breakfast at school that morning, but ate her lunch and took a nap. When I picked her up, she said she had fun, but doesn't like boys in her class. (we are coming from a sitter who watched only girls) But we were optimistic and revealed when her teacher said this is very normal for new kids. That night at dinner she talked about her bones and mussels. I asked her where she learned this she said, "pee school"

Day three. Where do I even begin?? The drop off was HORRIBLE!! I thought I was going to die as I left her. She was screaming bloody murder not wanting me to leave. It was so hard!! Someone on facebook suggested I send something of mine with her as a reminder that I am always with her. So I sent a bracelet with her, I kissed it then she kissed it and we put it in her book bag under her night night. She had that darn thing out and kissing it before I even left the room!! I called and checked on her twice that day. They said she finally calmed down at lunch. She did as she was asked, but was not participating in circle time (free dance). I thought it might be nice if her brother picked her up with me, maybe if she could show him her class she might feel better about being there. When we walked through the door she let out this happy squeal and came running towards us. I knelt down with my arms stretched out...she ran right past me and into her brother's arms! It was priceless!!!!

Day four. ROUGH drop off again, but not nearly as bad as Wednesday. I stayed in her room about 10 minutes and painted a picture with her and took her to the potty. She still cried when I left, but today she let Miss Ginger, her teacher, snuggle her. I called around 11:30a to check on her and they said she was doing okay, still quiet, but much better. Sigh. I took Joel with me again today to pick her up, she was happy to see him, but we interrupted story time (oops) so we sat quietly with the group and listened to the story. She did not nap, but rested. (she was in bed and asleep before 9pm!)

Day five, Friday. Morning drop off was still hard, but not nearly as bad as the previous days. We painted a picture again and also read a book. She cried when I left, but later the teacher told me by 8:30a she was fine, ate breakfast and was playing with the other kids!!! When I picked her up they were all outside playing. She was running and laughing, it was great to just stand back and watch her. I was there at least 3 minutes before she saw me. Once my presence was known, she ran over hugged me and then went back to playing!! WOW!!!!! I finally convinced her it was time to go, she waved by to all her friends and said goodbye. On our way back into the building one of her classmates mom's came in and she said,"oh, Bradyn's mom here, hold on, I'll get him". We went back outside and found Bradyn and told him his mom was here. Five days and she's already learning not only the kid's names, but who their parents are too!?!?!?! During dinner that night while she was eating she told us that her food goes in her mouth, down her "frowt" into her tummy to make her strong. Again, when I asked where she learned this "peeschool".

All in all, I think she had a good first week. The school is closed Monday for a teacher training day so she has a play date with her best friend Emi (from the sitter's). It has been a week now since the girls have seen each other. She is so excited!! I just pray this doesn't throw off the good streak we are on!!

3 years and 2 months old

It's been awhile since I've done updates on the kids, wish I had more pictures to post, but honestly we don't have our camera out much these days!! Here are a few things I can tell you about our little ladybug.

* 100% potty trained!! (day and night, zero accidents!!!)
* Put long sentences together, using words I didn't even realize she knows and using the correctly!
* Asks a million questions a day, about everything, she NEVER stops talking
* Has been talking a lot about being married. When I asked her if she's married she says "yes, to you mommy" (cute)
* Starts "peeschool" tomorrow. She has outgrown the sitter and is ready to move on to bigger and better things! She has her "packpack" all ready to go!!
* Offers to say the dinner prayer each night (hold hands, "now a I lay me...")
* Prays for me when I have a headache
* Is very needy in the mornings, wants me right there watching her get dressed, watching her go potty, getting her things for her (SO independent is so many areas, but is needing that extra bit of love in the morning lately)
* Pretends to text on my phone. She will tell you exactly who she's texting and what she's telling them
* Went to the dentist for the first time last month and did great!
* Still bosses the dog
* Brushes her teeth all by herself (with supervision) but we cannot help at all or she has a melt down
* Still working on colors and letters. We're hoping that a more structured daily routine at preschool will help with this (she's very easily distracted)
* Favorite movies right now are "Elf" and "Matilda" she can quote them and act out scenes, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing
* Wednesday is still her favorite day of the week (Joel comes back)
* Loves to help cook dinner and wash dishes.
* Will tell on herself if she had a bad day at the sitter's. She is very honest.
* Is done with the sticker chart. I knew it wouldn't last, but her behavior continues to be acceptable.
* Will randomly talk about her bible verses from church, she loves God and talks about Him daily
* Talks about her friends who are adopted. She identifies with them and asks about their birth-moms.


I'm sure there are a million other things she does, but for now this list will do. I plan to take pictures before school tomorrow... will post soon!!!

The funeral

We attended the funeral today, it was really good. It was so uplifting and positive! God was present in the house today! Lots of tears shed and lots of laughter. The preacher actually said the words Hoochie mama in the middle of the sermon! (he was not referring to Gladys as a Hoochie mama, promise) Anyway, a wonderful celebration of her life, great music, great people. She was loved.

More thoughts to come as I process today

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to my hubby...

And my brother, Josh!!

Love you both!

Praying

I've debated back and forth all week about posting this, but I finally decided the more prayers the better. I received a call from Aliya's birthmom on Wednesday that her mother, the grandma we've been in contact with for two years, passed away. She had been battling cancer for the past year and half (that we know of) and her battle is finally over. We found out a few weeks ago that the cancer had gotten much worse and she had moved into a nursing home and hospice arrangements were being made. I had hoped to get up to the nursing home to see her, but the kids got sick. I had hopped to call or send flowers, but time always got away from me. I spoke with her mother (Aliya's great-grandma) on the phone at the end of last week and got the name of the nursing home she was in, she said the best time to call was in the late afternoon, early evenings. But I never called. Not that I didn't want to, but the best time for her was the worst time for me and now I can't. It's too late. I should have made time. I never thought in a million years we wouldn't have the chance to say good-bye.

Thankfully we know she loved Jesus and is now in heaven and pain free. But that still doesn't stop our pain. We have grown to love her over the past years and have valued our relationship with her, not only for ourselves, but for our daughter.

We have made the decision not to take Aliya to the funeral next week. We don't want there to be any distraction for the family. I've talked with Aliya's birthmom a few times this week and each time we cry together...it's been hard. She understands why we aren't bringing Aliya with us and thanked me for thinking the decision through and explaining it to her.

We haven't told Aliya yet, and I'm not sure when we will. She knows who this woman is, we have pictures in our home of the two of them together. She knows about Jesus and that two of her family members are already with Him. But we just don't know.

So each night I pray, pray we choose the right time to tell Aliya, pray for our birthmom and her entire family. Pray for Aliya's biological half brother who was so close to his grandma (this is his first experience with death).

The below picture is of our last visit with her over the summer. She was in the middle of radiation at the time.

So, if you don't mind, please join me in prayer this week...

It's like Christmas Morning!!!

Each night before I go to bed I check on Aliya, then I head to the bathroom and tear off four squares of toilet paper, fold it and put it on the side of the sink. Jon jokes that it's like I'm leaving cookies for Santa. Each morning I go into the bathroom and check to see if the toilet paper is still there...did she get up and use the potty in the middle of the night? Was she able to hold it? I get so excited either way. Gone or still there. I am like a child on Christmas morning! The funny thing is is that she expects it to be there too. When we tuck her in each night she says to me "leave my toilet paper out mommy". She makes me smile!!

Thee Yers, can you believe it!?!?

Three years ago on January 21st 2008 at 6:10pm our lives changed forever!We became the proud parents of this amazing gift. WOW has time flown!

Quick Update

Well, we are one day 3 of the sticker chart and it is working great!! Aliya has only been in time out once since we've started. And oh what a difference in her mood when she's asleep by 9pm!! I hope this is a start in the right direction!!

Sticker Chart

I would be lying if I said our little Aliya is perfect, but compared to some three year-old's I must say, she is pretty well behaved. She has good manners and is very genuine in her concern for others. She is usually very adaptable and understands/reasons well for her age. All this changed four days ago. I don't know where my sweet Aliya went, but I want her back!! In the past four days we've witnessed Shrill screams that last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour STRAIGHT (I can't even describe the sounds that have come out of her mouth to paint an accurate picture of this sound), slamming doors, rolling around on the floor, hitting, kicking, bossing, stomping feet, throwing things...you name it, we've seen it. Not to mention going to bed at 8:30p but still awake at 10:30p, changing clothes, playing in her room, ripping down her curtains (yes, right out of the wall anchor).

Time outs weren't working, the occasional spanking (nothing hard, but a light tap on her rump to get her attention), time away in her room. NOTHING was working.

I refuse to get into power struggles with my children, especially the one that is three. I felt like a failure of a mother, my child does not act like this. And the fact that she was doing this in front of Jon was huge. She's pouts around him, but NEVER throws fits. I felt helpless and guilty.

So last night Jon came home with an idea. A sticker chart. My initial thought was, "this is never going to work, but at this point we need to try something". So last night We sat her down and went over her chart. Jon purchased a "busy mom's calendar" for a dollar at the beginning of the year (score!) and it works perfectly. It has 5 lines/spaces for each day of the week. So Aliya is working on 5 areas.

1. Wake up dry
2. Morning routine with no tantrums
3. Being good at the sitter's (which consists of having kind words, gentle hands and being helpful...not bossy)
4. Eating all her dinner (or at least enough to be full)
5. Going to be with no fussing and staying in bed

Of course she isn't expected to ace all 5 areas perfectly all the time. She can have three prompts to complete each task to be considered "successful" and get a sticker in a particular area. She has the opportunity to get 5 stickers each day. If she receives 3 out of 5 stickers for the day she receives a big red heart sticker for the day. At the end of the week if she has 5 red hearts she will be able to pick a prize from a box. (dollar tree items)

So far she's doing great! She is proud of her stickers and enjoys putting them on her chart. We've had 2 melt downs in 24 hours. I'll take it!!! We went to the bank, pet store and Payless today and she listened, she used her manners and was polite. She even commented to me several times that I was proud of her because she was being good. I must have told her 100 times in the course of an hour how proud I was of her and how good she was being.

By all means, I don't think this will be the end all cure all, but if it works for awhile I think it will be worth it. I'm not much one to read parenting books, but I'm thinking this is probably in a book somewhere.

I hope the next time I post about this I will have a good report!! (in the mean time, pray for me!!)

Give Away!!!

Here

Check out the above link for chance to win some really cool stuff!!!

Happy Girl Hair is a site I "borrow" a lot of Aliya's hair styles from. I say borrow because she is AWESOME! Check it out!