Praying

I've debated back and forth all week about posting this, but I finally decided the more prayers the better. I received a call from Aliya's birthmom on Wednesday that her mother, the grandma we've been in contact with for two years, passed away. She had been battling cancer for the past year and half (that we know of) and her battle is finally over. We found out a few weeks ago that the cancer had gotten much worse and she had moved into a nursing home and hospice arrangements were being made. I had hoped to get up to the nursing home to see her, but the kids got sick. I had hopped to call or send flowers, but time always got away from me. I spoke with her mother (Aliya's great-grandma) on the phone at the end of last week and got the name of the nursing home she was in, she said the best time to call was in the late afternoon, early evenings. But I never called. Not that I didn't want to, but the best time for her was the worst time for me and now I can't. It's too late. I should have made time. I never thought in a million years we wouldn't have the chance to say good-bye.

Thankfully we know she loved Jesus and is now in heaven and pain free. But that still doesn't stop our pain. We have grown to love her over the past years and have valued our relationship with her, not only for ourselves, but for our daughter.

We have made the decision not to take Aliya to the funeral next week. We don't want there to be any distraction for the family. I've talked with Aliya's birthmom a few times this week and each time we cry together...it's been hard. She understands why we aren't bringing Aliya with us and thanked me for thinking the decision through and explaining it to her.

We haven't told Aliya yet, and I'm not sure when we will. She knows who this woman is, we have pictures in our home of the two of them together. She knows about Jesus and that two of her family members are already with Him. But we just don't know.

So each night I pray, pray we choose the right time to tell Aliya, pray for our birthmom and her entire family. Pray for Aliya's biological half brother who was so close to his grandma (this is his first experience with death).

The below picture is of our last visit with her over the summer. She was in the middle of radiation at the time.

So, if you don't mind, please join me in prayer this week...