Sticker Chart

I would be lying if I said our little Aliya is perfect, but compared to some three year-old's I must say, she is pretty well behaved. She has good manners and is very genuine in her concern for others. She is usually very adaptable and understands/reasons well for her age. All this changed four days ago. I don't know where my sweet Aliya went, but I want her back!! In the past four days we've witnessed Shrill screams that last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour STRAIGHT (I can't even describe the sounds that have come out of her mouth to paint an accurate picture of this sound), slamming doors, rolling around on the floor, hitting, kicking, bossing, stomping feet, throwing things...you name it, we've seen it. Not to mention going to bed at 8:30p but still awake at 10:30p, changing clothes, playing in her room, ripping down her curtains (yes, right out of the wall anchor).

Time outs weren't working, the occasional spanking (nothing hard, but a light tap on her rump to get her attention), time away in her room. NOTHING was working.

I refuse to get into power struggles with my children, especially the one that is three. I felt like a failure of a mother, my child does not act like this. And the fact that she was doing this in front of Jon was huge. She's pouts around him, but NEVER throws fits. I felt helpless and guilty.

So last night Jon came home with an idea. A sticker chart. My initial thought was, "this is never going to work, but at this point we need to try something". So last night We sat her down and went over her chart. Jon purchased a "busy mom's calendar" for a dollar at the beginning of the year (score!) and it works perfectly. It has 5 lines/spaces for each day of the week. So Aliya is working on 5 areas.

1. Wake up dry
2. Morning routine with no tantrums
3. Being good at the sitter's (which consists of having kind words, gentle hands and being helpful...not bossy)
4. Eating all her dinner (or at least enough to be full)
5. Going to be with no fussing and staying in bed

Of course she isn't expected to ace all 5 areas perfectly all the time. She can have three prompts to complete each task to be considered "successful" and get a sticker in a particular area. She has the opportunity to get 5 stickers each day. If she receives 3 out of 5 stickers for the day she receives a big red heart sticker for the day. At the end of the week if she has 5 red hearts she will be able to pick a prize from a box. (dollar tree items)

So far she's doing great! She is proud of her stickers and enjoys putting them on her chart. We've had 2 melt downs in 24 hours. I'll take it!!! We went to the bank, pet store and Payless today and she listened, she used her manners and was polite. She even commented to me several times that I was proud of her because she was being good. I must have told her 100 times in the course of an hour how proud I was of her and how good she was being.

By all means, I don't think this will be the end all cure all, but if it works for awhile I think it will be worth it. I'm not much one to read parenting books, but I'm thinking this is probably in a book somewhere.

I hope the next time I post about this I will have a good report!! (in the mean time, pray for me!!)