Created for Care 2013

Guess where I'll be spending my next birthday!?!? Here

Happy Father's Day 2012!!

I took the kids to Portrait Inovations this year for Father's Day pictures. Of course they take like 300 pictures and try to get you to buy them all! I went in with the goal of spending $40 dollars, well...that didn't exactly happen! I spent my $40 in cash and then some! But come one, can you blame me? How cute are my kids!

Super Cute!!

In honor of Mother's Day we attended our old church last night to witness some very speical friends dedicate their two sons. It was great to worship next to our friends and love on them after. Prior to the dedication part of the service they played this video. It's super cute, I hope you'll check it out! (make sure your sound is up for it!)

Amazing Giveaway!

This book looks great! For a chance to win it please go Here

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I have been doing so well and this morning I had a major setback. While in the shower this morning, as though it just happened yesterday, I had this flash back from when I was back in the ER lying on the table staring at the ultrasound screen. Seeing my baby, but not seeing a heartbeat. Just this still form. The tears came rushing back and this incredible feeling of panic and loss came over me. Why can't I get that image out of my mind? Why when I am just going about my business do I close my eyes and see it? Even as I sit here typing, hours after the fact, I am instantly brought to tears uncontrollable sobs. Not that I would ever trade the 8 weeks I got to experience pregnancy, but I wonder if it would have just been easier to have never experienced it at all. I was fine before this, loving my kids and was content with the way things were. Sure, there were days of sorrow of not having a biological child, but those few days of sorrow were NOTHING compared to what I am feeling now. I am sure people are sick of my break downs by now. It will be a year in June; you’d think I’d be over this by now. But I’m not. It’s getting harder to smile and nod at people when I just want to hide under my bed and cry.

LOVE THIS!!

I wonder if our teens would understand the true meaning of Easter better if they watched this...

Why God?

There have been very few times in my life that I have truly questioned God. This past Friday was one of them. The friend who just found out she's expecting (the one I wrote about last week) called me Friday evening with horrible news. She has an ectopic pregnancy and had to end her pregnancy in order for her to survive. Why God? Why after restoring her faith and freeing her heart from the burden of the miscarriage would God bless her with a pregnancy where the baby could not survive? To make her choose, her life or the baby's, why?

We sat together at church Saturday night and cried, sobbing so hard after that neither of us could breathe. I don't get it. I don't understand. Why did this happen? Why this way?

I'm adding this to my list of questions to ask God when I make it to heaven someday.