And my brother, Josh!!
Love you both!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Praying
I've debated back and forth all week about posting this, but I finally decided the more prayers the better. I received a call from Aliya's birthmom on Wednesday that her mother, the grandma we've been in contact with for two years, passed away. She had been battling cancer for the past year and half (that we know of) and her battle is finally over. We found out a few weeks ago that the cancer had gotten much worse and she had moved into a nursing home and hospice arrangements were being made. I had hoped to get up to the nursing home to see her, but the kids got sick. I had hopped to call or send flowers, but time always got away from me. I spoke with her mother (Aliya's great-grandma) on the phone at the end of last week and got the name of the nursing home she was in, she said the best time to call was in the late afternoon, early evenings. But I never called. Not that I didn't want to, but the best time for her was the worst time for me and now I can't. It's too late. I should have made time. I never thought in a million years we wouldn't have the chance to say good-bye.
Thankfully we know she loved Jesus and is now in heaven and pain free. But that still doesn't stop our pain. We have grown to love her over the past years and have valued our relationship with her, not only for ourselves, but for our daughter.
We have made the decision not to take Aliya to the funeral next week. We don't want there to be any distraction for the family. I've talked with Aliya's birthmom a few times this week and each time we cry together...it's been hard. She understands why we aren't bringing Aliya with us and thanked me for thinking the decision through and explaining it to her.
We haven't told Aliya yet, and I'm not sure when we will. She knows who this woman is, we have pictures in our home of the two of them together. She knows about Jesus and that two of her family members are already with Him. But we just don't know.
So each night I pray, pray we choose the right time to tell Aliya, pray for our birthmom and her entire family. Pray for Aliya's biological half brother who was so close to his grandma (this is his first experience with death).
The below picture is of our last visit with her over the summer. She was in the middle of radiation at the time.
So, if you don't mind, please join me in prayer this week...
Thankfully we know she loved Jesus and is now in heaven and pain free. But that still doesn't stop our pain. We have grown to love her over the past years and have valued our relationship with her, not only for ourselves, but for our daughter.
We have made the decision not to take Aliya to the funeral next week. We don't want there to be any distraction for the family. I've talked with Aliya's birthmom a few times this week and each time we cry together...it's been hard. She understands why we aren't bringing Aliya with us and thanked me for thinking the decision through and explaining it to her.
We haven't told Aliya yet, and I'm not sure when we will. She knows who this woman is, we have pictures in our home of the two of them together. She knows about Jesus and that two of her family members are already with Him. But we just don't know.
So each night I pray, pray we choose the right time to tell Aliya, pray for our birthmom and her entire family. Pray for Aliya's biological half brother who was so close to his grandma (this is his first experience with death).
The below picture is of our last visit with her over the summer. She was in the middle of radiation at the time.
So, if you don't mind, please join me in prayer this week...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
It's like Christmas Morning!!!
Each night before I go to bed I check on Aliya, then I head to the bathroom and tear off four squares of toilet paper, fold it and put it on the side of the sink. Jon jokes that it's like I'm leaving cookies for Santa. Each morning I go into the bathroom and check to see if the toilet paper is still there...did she get up and use the potty in the middle of the night? Was she able to hold it? I get so excited either way. Gone or still there. I am like a child on Christmas morning! The funny thing is is that she expects it to be there too. When we tuck her in each night she says to me "leave my toilet paper out mommy". She makes me smile!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thee Yers, can you believe it!?!?
Three years ago on January 21st 2008 at 6:10pm our lives changed forever!We became the proud parents of this amazing gift. WOW has time flown!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Quick Update
Well, we are one day 3 of the sticker chart and it is working great!! Aliya has only been in time out once since we've started. And oh what a difference in her mood when she's asleep by 9pm!! I hope this is a start in the right direction!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sticker Chart
I would be lying if I said our little Aliya is perfect, but compared to some three year-old's I must say, she is pretty well behaved. She has good manners and is very genuine in her concern for others. She is usually very adaptable and understands/reasons well for her age. All this changed four days ago. I don't know where my sweet Aliya went, but I want her back!! In the past four days we've witnessed Shrill screams that last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour STRAIGHT (I can't even describe the sounds that have come out of her mouth to paint an accurate picture of this sound), slamming doors, rolling around on the floor, hitting, kicking, bossing, stomping feet, throwing things...you name it, we've seen it. Not to mention going to bed at 8:30p but still awake at 10:30p, changing clothes, playing in her room, ripping down her curtains (yes, right out of the wall anchor).
Time outs weren't working, the occasional spanking (nothing hard, but a light tap on her rump to get her attention), time away in her room. NOTHING was working.
I refuse to get into power struggles with my children, especially the one that is three. I felt like a failure of a mother, my child does not act like this. And the fact that she was doing this in front of Jon was huge. She's pouts around him, but NEVER throws fits. I felt helpless and guilty.
So last night Jon came home with an idea. A sticker chart. My initial thought was, "this is never going to work, but at this point we need to try something". So last night We sat her down and went over her chart. Jon purchased a "busy mom's calendar" for a dollar at the beginning of the year (score!) and it works perfectly. It has 5 lines/spaces for each day of the week. So Aliya is working on 5 areas.
1. Wake up dry
2. Morning routine with no tantrums
3. Being good at the sitter's (which consists of having kind words, gentle hands and being helpful...not bossy)
4. Eating all her dinner (or at least enough to be full)
5. Going to be with no fussing and staying in bed
Of course she isn't expected to ace all 5 areas perfectly all the time. She can have three prompts to complete each task to be considered "successful" and get a sticker in a particular area. She has the opportunity to get 5 stickers each day. If she receives 3 out of 5 stickers for the day she receives a big red heart sticker for the day. At the end of the week if she has 5 red hearts she will be able to pick a prize from a box. (dollar tree items)
So far she's doing great! She is proud of her stickers and enjoys putting them on her chart. We've had 2 melt downs in 24 hours. I'll take it!!! We went to the bank, pet store and Payless today and she listened, she used her manners and was polite. She even commented to me several times that I was proud of her because she was being good. I must have told her 100 times in the course of an hour how proud I was of her and how good she was being.
By all means, I don't think this will be the end all cure all, but if it works for awhile I think it will be worth it. I'm not much one to read parenting books, but I'm thinking this is probably in a book somewhere.
I hope the next time I post about this I will have a good report!! (in the mean time, pray for me!!)
Time outs weren't working, the occasional spanking (nothing hard, but a light tap on her rump to get her attention), time away in her room. NOTHING was working.
I refuse to get into power struggles with my children, especially the one that is three. I felt like a failure of a mother, my child does not act like this. And the fact that she was doing this in front of Jon was huge. She's pouts around him, but NEVER throws fits. I felt helpless and guilty.
So last night Jon came home with an idea. A sticker chart. My initial thought was, "this is never going to work, but at this point we need to try something". So last night We sat her down and went over her chart. Jon purchased a "busy mom's calendar" for a dollar at the beginning of the year (score!) and it works perfectly. It has 5 lines/spaces for each day of the week. So Aliya is working on 5 areas.
1. Wake up dry
2. Morning routine with no tantrums
3. Being good at the sitter's (which consists of having kind words, gentle hands and being helpful...not bossy)
4. Eating all her dinner (or at least enough to be full)
5. Going to be with no fussing and staying in bed
Of course she isn't expected to ace all 5 areas perfectly all the time. She can have three prompts to complete each task to be considered "successful" and get a sticker in a particular area. She has the opportunity to get 5 stickers each day. If she receives 3 out of 5 stickers for the day she receives a big red heart sticker for the day. At the end of the week if she has 5 red hearts she will be able to pick a prize from a box. (dollar tree items)
So far she's doing great! She is proud of her stickers and enjoys putting them on her chart. We've had 2 melt downs in 24 hours. I'll take it!!! We went to the bank, pet store and Payless today and she listened, she used her manners and was polite. She even commented to me several times that I was proud of her because she was being good. I must have told her 100 times in the course of an hour how proud I was of her and how good she was being.
By all means, I don't think this will be the end all cure all, but if it works for awhile I think it will be worth it. I'm not much one to read parenting books, but I'm thinking this is probably in a book somewhere.
I hope the next time I post about this I will have a good report!! (in the mean time, pray for me!!)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Give Away!!!
Here
Check out the above link for chance to win some really cool stuff!!!
Happy Girl Hair is a site I "borrow" a lot of Aliya's hair styles from. I say borrow because she is AWESOME! Check it out!
Check out the above link for chance to win some really cool stuff!!!
Happy Girl Hair is a site I "borrow" a lot of Aliya's hair styles from. I say borrow because she is AWESOME! Check it out!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)