Not sure how to feel

We heard from Aliya's birthmom yesterday for the first time in three months. We found out through her mother a few months ago that she moved... I tried to call her on Mother's day, but her phone was disconnected. I'm not sure how I feel right now, and I hate that I'm even a bit frustrated. I don't even know exactly how I'm feeling. I mean, this woman gave us the most amazing gift and I know she is still grieving over her decision, but this is the third time in 2 1/2 years that she's moved and not told us. Who knows how many pictures and letters have gone unopened (or opened by random people). I am not in her shoes, but I guess if our contact was too much for her a simple, "I need some space" would be nice. And it would be respected. I suppose this just goes with the territory of open adoption.

I haven't returned her phone call yet. We were in the middle of dinner when the phone rang and we didn't recognize the number so I didn't answer. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to call her back. I'm collecting my thoughts. I mean, I really have no reason to be upset with her, just frustrated. And is that even warranted? I think I was so excited back at Christmas to finally meet her face to face. I thought this was the beginning of something really good. Was I wrong? Was I setting myself up for disappointment? Was I setting Aliya up for disappointment?

All I want is the best for our daughter...I hate second guessing myself.

"Big Big Bed"

We are being blessed with a new (new to us) twin bed for Aliya this Sunday!! For awhile now Aliya has been talking about wanting a "big big bed", as she sleeps on a twin bed for naps as the sitter's. I've been searching for the perfect bedding online and finding that bedding is expensive!! I found two adorable ladybug sets, but alas, they were WAY out of our price range. I've been to every store under the sun and ended up on Wal Mart this morning and found the one that is perfect for our little ladybug and very much in our price range! I went on line to email it to Jon to find out it's $9 cheaper on line than priced in the store (plus free site-to-store shipping)!!! My day keeps getting better and better!! THEN I find out the curtains that match are $2 cheaper in the store! We were hoping Wal Mart would match their internet pricing, but they won't :( That's okay, I will order the comforter tomorrow and have it within a week or so!!! Below is the picture from Wal Mart's website!!! Aliya is really excited!!




Jon was able to get his hands on some free white shag carpet at work and made her a nice 7x6 rug! It's really soft and super cute! The bed we are being given is a twin canopy bed (minus the canopy) so we picked up a misquote net that with colorful butterflies on it that I will hang from the ceiling and make my own canopy! (cross your fingers I can get creative with it)



I plan to take before and after pictures, so stay tuned!

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

I want to get more pictures posted, but I'm finding my time spent on more important things lately! So, I post some pictures now and write about our vacation later!

Enjoy!

Family Day

The first Saturday of our vacation was family day at the art museum. They had arts and crafts, scavenger hunts (witch our kids did not do), bead making, leaf rubbing, ect. But the BEST thing was the pinewood derby race! Each kid (young and old) got to make and decorate their own wooden car then race them!! At first Joel thought is as stupid, but once he got started he really enjoyed it! Man, he is one competitive kid!


Joel and Aunt Kim posing!


Working on his car


Concentrating


Aliya showing off her car


Jon's car


Drivers take your mark...
Aliya's, Joel's, Kim's Jon's


And the winner is...



Joel won all but 2 of his races, which of course he lost to his little sister!!! Aliya won most of her races against the other kids! She was so cute, she would run beside her car and yell "I won" with her hands in the air!! We must have raced our cars for almost an hour!


Working hard on her art project


She loved using the scissors



I love this one!!!


This was a great family day! After the art museum we headed out for frozen yogurt. YUMMY!!!
(More pictures soon to follow)

We're Baaack

We are home from Washington DC!! We got home very late last night and crashed!! Today will be filled with laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping!! Hopefully I'll get a few pictures posted too!

Visit

During one of my several trips up North in June we decided to call Aliya's birth-grandma to see if she was able to visit. I called her on Friday afternoon and we made plans to meet the next day and have an early dinner. Gladys brought "D", Aliya's birth-brother. We love D, he is great!!! He was super excited to see us both and gave us both big hugs in the parking lot. We enjoyed a nice dinner and had a great visit. As to not confuse Aliya, we have always said that Jocelyn is D's birthmom too. We've used the term brother, but not a lot. So when the waitress asked Aliya if she and the young man at our table was her brother, she looked at me sort of confused. I politely smiled and said, "yes, Aliya has two brothers" D grinned from ear to ear! He is 8 and I just wanted to take him home with me!! After we were done eating he walked around with Aliya so Gladys and I could visit for a bit. Our 1 1/2 hour visit flew by! Before leaving we went to a private part of the dining area and snapped a few pictures.


Hugs


I still can't get over how much they look alike!


Hugs for Grandma Gladys


And some kisses


I love this one


Jocelyn wasn't able to join us, she had to work. We had a really cool moment about half way through dinner. Aliya had to go potty but she didn't want me to take her, she wanted Gladys. It was a neat feeling to watch the two of them walk hand in hand to the bathroom. It was the first time she's been alone with Gladys. Not that I was worried that she'd try to run with her or anything, but I think deep (deep) down there was the tiny fear...and watching them walk away made that fear vanish and love replaced it. I can't explain it really.

We can't wait until we can all get together again, hopefully next time Jocelyn will be able to come!!

Pool Time

We are loving our pool!! The kids are having so much fun in it! What a blessing. Here are just a few quick shots taken a few weeks ago.

It's the perfect size for us!


Joel showing off some swimming moves


I love this one!


Aliya has gotten so brave! She was pretty scared the first few times, but now she climbs the ladder and jumps off, all on her own! She now swims with her face down in the water!


Trying to get a good action shot of Joel jumping in, it turned into more of a belly flop! OUCH!