Merry Christmas

Twas The Night Before Christmas...

And all through our house, Aliya is sleeping and quiet as a mouse.
Joel's playing wii and Jon's trying to help, in hopes the next level soon will appear.
The presents are wrapped and under the tree, will Santa fill the kid's stockings like he promised this year?
We've been to see family and then on to church, Aliya didn't sit still, but she could have been worse.
The countdown has started, it's almost time for bed, thanking God for our blessings and all that's ahead.


Okay, really stupid I know!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

2 Year Well Check

Today Aliya and I went to see Dr. Nina (who told us today she is leaving the practice at the end of the month...sad face) for Aliya's 2 year old well check. Aliya was BEYOND excited to see Nina this morning, as we have been talking about it all last week and even reading a social story book on going to the doctor at night (her "Nina book" as she calls it). We arrived about 10 minutes last, as I couldn't remember what time her appointment was exactly. Aliya marched right in and made herself at home, announcing her presence to the entire nursing staff. After about 8 minutes of waiting it was our turn. She proudly marched back to room 5 where we were greeted by the digital scale (first time for this one). It was much easier and faster to get her weight: 26 lbs. 26 pounds is actually a few pounds less than I was guessing. Anyway, then it was on to the next room to strip down to her diaper and socks. Normally Aliya would be thrilled to take her clothes off, but not this morning. She clung to me for dear life. We had to tag team her down to get her measured, 35". Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse out came the stethoscope, heaven help us! She was squeezing my neck at this point while standing on my lap (I was sitting on the exam table with her) screaming, "ouuuuch mama ouuuuch" that ended quickly and the nurse was done. Before excusing herself from the room she said that Nina would be in shortly. Aliya grabbed her shirt and with a huge smile exclaimed, "DONE". Within a few minutes Nina entered and Aliya screamed again, only this time is was a happy scream, "NINA"!!!! It was like Santa had entered the room, Aliya immediately calmed down and helped Nina hold the light to check her ears, nose and mouth. Aliya has met her 2 year milestones and passed her exam with flying colors! We chit chatted a few minutes while I got Aliya dressed and headed down the hall to check out. Aliya waved and said bye to everyone she passed. Then just as we were almost out the door she stopped dead in her tracks and said, "mama sticker". I had completely forgotten I had promised her a sticker for being good, thankfully our little ladybug has a memory like an elephant! So a few more good byes and one doggy sticker later we were out the door!

We will be sad to see Nina leave, as Aliya obviously loves her!

"I'm 2 Today!!"

Here are a few things I'm up to these days:

*I wear size 2T clothes and size 6 shoes
*I'm still in a 4 diaper, but a 5 overnight diaper
*I think I am hilarious, most others do too
*I am very concerned when people cry
*I am really into giving hugs and kisses right now
*My favorite foods are still pizza and noodles
*Be careful what you say in front of me, I repeat EVERYTHING you say!
*I like making lists of my family and friends, "mommy, daddy, Joel, Madeline, Emmy..."
*I LOVE to sleep on my pillow in my bed
*Flushing the toilet is way more fun than actually sitting on it!
*I will sit for about an hour for mommy to do my hair at night
*I LOVE to color, with anything, on anything!
*I still love to go bye bye whenever I can!!
*Shopping is still a favorite for me!
*I ask "why" about everything
*My night night is still important to me
*I like to get naked and surprise mommy in the shower!
*I think pants should be optional when at home
*My new phrase is, "mommy, where are you?"
*I love to "talk" on the phone, but when someone is actually on the other line I get shy
*Still not a fan of strangers (or people I know well for that matter)
*My mom thinks I should stay in my class at church on my own, I'm still not too sure about this plan, but I'll be moving up to the 2 year old class soon, so I better get used to it!
*I had my party yesterday and LOVED seeing my friends and family!
*Back off kids, those presents are MINE

Thoughts and Feelings

Here is what is in my head right now regarding my grandma's death

* I'm too young to loose a grandma
* My kids are too young to not have their GG just down the road
* I can't breathe
* Can my grandpa breathe right now? If so, how is he doing it?
* What is going through my dad's head right now, his mom is gone, I can't imagine
* Is she bossy in heaven? (chuckle)
* Will Aliya remember her?
* I miss her so much already
* Who will fix grandpa's lunch for him now?
* Why did no one from their church come to the hospital?
* When do the tears stop?
* Was she in pain?
* Could she hear us say good bye?
* Is there macaroni and cheese in heaven?
* She had an amazing gift
* I was supposed to go to her house on Saturday morning, I called and canceled Friday night...I had one last chance to see her and I didn't
* No one knew it was coming
* My family is amazing
* My God is amazing
* "I will rise when He calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on Eagle's wings, before my God fall on my knees and rise...I will rise"
* cold veggies with Italian dressing
* her spaghetti and meatballs
* Will grandpa stay at their house? Will he move?
* They were planing their 60th anniversary party...who will call everyone and tell them what happened?
* Are my uncles okay?
* Are my little brother and sister okay?
* She loved my kids so much, do they know that?
* How do you explain to a 2 year old that her GG is with Jesus w/o crying?
* I miss you grandma, I miss you so much...

Heaven Has One More

My grandma went to be with Jesus tonight. We got the call last night that she had a stroke around 6:50p. I got to the hospital last night around 10pm...all the Hilgeman's were there. We left around 1:40am. I said, "good night" NOT "good bye", she was very sedated and on a ventilator. The first song at church this morning was "Strength Will Rise as We Wait Upon the Lord" (a fitting song, don't you think?) We got the call around 10:30a that she was now brain dead and they were calling everyone in...I have never felt so much pain and grief all at once in my life...then not 10 minutes later the next call came, they were waiting until dad got there to turn off the machine. Darkness. I lost it. Jon took me to the hospital and I sat and cried and cried and cried. Never asking God why, just crying and praying she wasn't in any pain. I was able to see her one last time and kiss her good-bye. she looked so peaceful laying there, her chest rising up and down with ease. I kissed grandpa and told him I love him. More tears. The rest of the family came and they took their turn saying good bye. We wait, we cry, we laugh, we eat, we wait... it was nearly 3:15p we decide to leave just to get away. She held on for almost 4 more hours before she met our Lord. I cry for our loss, but I rejoice for her... God is holding her now. I miss her so much already! But I know we will see each other again, God knows when. I love you grandma!

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